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So now that things quieted down a bit, what's anyone actually make of these things?

[Lancer was poking and prodding at a ~~Goomy~~ Bloober that sat on the table in front of him. If anything, the little slime seemed to be enjoying it. At least, that might have been what those blubbing noises meant. After a minute of scrutinizing the little creature like that, he shrugged and turned to face the camera properly, head on his hand.]

I've been here a long time, and I don't think I've ever seen anything like them. Not that I'm complaining--something interesting was long overdue around here, you know? It gets damn repetitive around here--but nah, that's probably a discussion for another day if I haven't said as much before.

[He shrugged, and next to him the little slime inched itself off-camera and out of sight. Not seeming to notice that, Lancer continued:]

Back to what I was talking about...how exactly do you train something you don't know the first thing about? I ain't an expert on training techniques, but getting it to listen isn't the problem. Fighting in itself without knowing these things' abilities or weaknesses is going to be nearly impossible.

[As Lancer considered this, the Bloober that had been on the table was now in the background...somehow having managed to climb a bookshelf. Yeah, this'll go well.]

The best I can guess so far is they're probably resistant to water, seeing how they practically live off of it-- [Finally realizing all was not well, Lancer raised his head off his hand and glanced around.] ...huh? Amhrasach?

[Apparently sensing incoming disaster, Lancer slowly looked over his shoulder...and immediately found a ball of 60% slime and 40% giant mouth diving for what probably passed for a hug.]

WHAT THE F--

[AMHRASACH used TACKLE!]

[Critical hit! It connected directly with Lancer's face and full-on knocked him off his chair and out of sight with a crash.]

[Ireland's greatest hero, folks.]

You believe this shit? Same old song and dance every time, with easy amnesia at the end. Where's the fun in all this if we ain't gonna remember it?

[Where's this video coming from tonight...? It looked as though he was pretty high up, judging by the appearance of Goldenrod's cityscape far behind him. An educated guess might lead one to believe he was standing on top of the Radio Tower. (Which was indeed the case; his Venomoth had been given the task of recording.) More obvious was the armor he wore and spear carried over his shoulder--some might have recognized it or heard its name in the nightmare castle not too long ago.]

Boring, but oh well. Usually I'd invite all these newcomers for a drink, but even that wouldn't be as fun without a human body.

So. Here we are again, and here I am with nothin' fun to keep me occupied. [A lazy smirk spread across Lancer's face--the kind that screamed 'trouble'.]

How do you wanna make the most of this opportunity, hm? A fight, a game, a sparring match? I might entertain whatever you can think up. I'm bored outta my damn mind.

[Poor Lancer had been having a rough time of things these past few months. Today he seemed very frazzled, showing up on video with what appeared to be bite-shaped wounds all over his arms.]

So, uh...Scathach, right? Ever since I got her she's kinda used her mouth to find her way around--I'm pretty sure she can't see anythin' or something like that. I was hoping she'd grow out of it when she evolved, but--well, look!

[He turned the Pokegear to instead display:]

[...Chewing on his ~~inventory~~ backpack with one head and a pillow with the other.]

I can't stress this enough: help.

[ooc: sprite source over yonder]

[Lancer's patience was quickly wearing thin with this place. His shoulder hurt like hell after the other night's little run-in with whatever those monsters were, and the mark on his hand only served to irritate him more. What was this supposed to be, some weird blue parody of Command Spells? What a pain.]

...tch. [Scowling, he shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked around the castle's second floor with a miserable look on his face.]

[ooc: Simple catch-all action post; pick a room/location and I'll roll with it!]

'Noble and famous indeed thou shalt be, but transitory and soon gone.'

[The backdrop to Lancer's reminiscence today seemed to be his room in the breeding center...and behind him was what appeared to be one hell of a hoarded cache of various bottles of alcohol. The half-empty one he was holding might have explained why his tone and phrasing were notably more serious than usual.]

Somebody said that to me when I was a little kid. Prophecies were kind of a big deal back then. But me, I was the kind of glory-seeking dumbass that didn't really care about consequences. Hell, I still don't. But here's the thing, y'know--I think that was wrong the whole time. Yeah, yeah, I got famous and whatever, and maybe thirty's not the ideal age for somebody to die at, but I outlived...everybody. Just about everybody that mattered, at least. My teacher, my kid, even my adoptive father got offed long before I did.

[Shrugging, Lancer poured himself drink number Who Knows and drained the glass in one quick motion before he continued.]

Here's what I'm getting at: I've been here a long time. Too long for most, but I have to say being stuck here in itself doesn't bother me. Still...every so often I catch myself thinking 'so how long until the rest of you disappear into thin goddamned air?' And I wonder if this is the epitome of my miserable luck, living out a normal life while everybody around me keeps coming and going without so much as a 'see you later, Lancer' or even a 'good riddance, stupid'.

Guess at this rate, I'm just gonna have to live with everyone else being the transitory ones. [He sighed, and the sound seemed irritated rather than punctuating the unhappiness that seemed to be in his words.] What a pain. I ain't even sure how people deal with this anymore...aside from drinking. I kind of got that one covered.

[Lancer never, ever, ever dismissed dreams as nothing. Few understood as well as Cú Chulainn just how real dreams and nightmares could be. They could hurt, and not just emotionally. Once had seemed a warning, and now twice was striking him as a blaring sign of Bad Things To Come.]

[Scowling, he'd left his room at the breeding center and made his way to the roof--never mind how he got up there. (Trees were involved.) It was easier to think when he was off the ground, for whatever reason. Some holdover from his scouting duty as a Servant, maybe. Who cared? The point was that his head was a jumbled mess of things and he couldn't determine the cause or reasoning. When was the last time he'd even had a nightmare to begin with?]

[Even at this ungodly hour, he knew full well somebody was likely to still be awake. Johto and its inhabitants were weird like that. Sitting on the edge of the roof with no thought to the height, Lancer took his Pokegear from his pocket and typed a quick message.]

I'm starting to think some weird shit might be going on around here. Anyone else get that feeling?

Okay. [Lancer's actually voluntarily filming himself today, standing next to an Aerodactyl.] Cecil, this whole flying thing better be all it's cracked up to be. That's the right saying, isn't it? Whatever. I finally have a use for that stupid technique I got ages ago.

[He looked to the grumpy dinosaur next to him, none too excited about the prospect but willing to try regardless.] Alright, let me just get on your back or something and let's take o- [The Aerodactyl flapped its wings, suddenly grabbing Lancer by the arms and launching itself into the air with its now screaming trainer.]

I'M GOING TO EAT YOU OR SOMETHING I SWEAR TO MACHA PUT ME DOWN--

[Hello from a million feet in the air, Goldenrod.]

[In the middle of the night there is quite a loud noise of scrambling and vivid cursing in archaic Gaelic and Whatever-Johto-Speaks-ese, originating from Lancer's room in the breeding center. In the chaos his Pokegear is knocked off the nightstand, and this mess is now broadcast for anyone to witness.]

WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT?!

[This outburst may possibly be justified, because despite the odd angle of the recording one can in fact see a large Aerodactyl perched on the end of his bed. How it got in there is anyone's guess, but the open window might be a clue.]

[And it looks angry. But then again if your mouth was nothing but teeth you'd probably look angry too.]

[Needless to say, this was a harsh wake-up call at Bullshit O'Clock, and Lancer is more than mildly disturbed.]

[More so when the intruder appears to have latched onto his head with those teeth.]

Scathach, do something, don't just sit there-- [A well-meaning Deino lunged from offscreen with a Bite attack...regretfully connecting with her trainer's arm rather than the formerly fossilized assailant attached to his head.]

NOT ME, DAMMIT--ATTACK THIS GODDAMN THING, NOT ME!

[...boy, that doesn't seem to be going well. It was probably merciful that the video cut out before it got worse.]

Hey, I just thought of something.

[Lancer's video post came abruptly, the knight wearing an expression that seemed to suggest this thought had literally occurred to him no more than seconds beforehand.]

Is anyone still trying to get out of here?

[Lancer was having one hell of a time trying (and failing) to get his Pokegear acting normally. The less success he had, the more aggravated he was getting. Eventually he would outright give up and write a message in some arcane runic lettering.]

[After realizing nobody would actually be able to read his less-than-kind words about the state of his communication device, they were erased and the gear messed with some more, before the audio was turned on to a faint string of cursing.]

-can't get the damned thing to work right, did it break or something? [A Rapidash made a faint whinnying sound, audible over the crackling flames of her mane.] ...the hell do you mean it's working now, no it isn--oh. I guess it is working.

I'm back in Goldenrod...uh, somehow. Is it just me or are things starting to get weird as hell again?

Hey, Saber. You work too hard, y'know that?

I'm coming by in five minutes and we're gonna go fishing.

[Beat.]

Even if I have to pick you up and carry you. Actually, I might not mind too much if I had to do that. [Shrug.] I'll even treat you to dinner if you want.

[Lancer. Lancer you're an idiot. This isn't how you ask women out on a date.]

[The time: early afternoon.]

[The place: Goldenrod City.]

[Outside the lovely city's Pokemon Center stood a brightly colored and adorable Chansey mascot. They carried a sign clearly advertising the Breeding Center and foster home: location, operating hours, contact information, and anything else a trainer might possibly need.]

[...Except despite the cheerful costume, whoever was hidden in the mascot outfit seemed to be doing a lot of sulking. In fact, as the day wore on they seemed to be doign more and more of it. Kind of like they were talked into the job in the first place ~~by Saber~~. Not to mention that Houndoom and Deino playing around nearby seemed awfully familiar...]

[Speaking of which, the latter of those two didn't seem to be looking where she was going; the baby dragon barreled right into the poor costumed mascot, who fell over with some expletives not very fitting of a cute pink Pokemon.]

[And then came the real problem. Chansey, being shaped like an egg, had the very glaring design flaw of being shaped like an egg. Ergo, when the unfortunate costumed victim tried to stand up...it didn't work out.]

[The mascot stopped its pathetic flailing, as if the person inside was either contemplating escape or simply giving up and awaiting sweet death.]

[What followed was the world's most awkward silence before the video (recorded by a highly amused Venomoth) cut out.]

[It's 11:48 AM the day after St. Patrick's Day.]

[Do you know where your Lancer is?]

[As a matter of fact, he appears to be facedown and more or less unconscious on a couch in the Celadon Breeding Center. But that's in the background, so who cares? Holding the Pokegear at tiny, stubby arms' length is a very cheerful Audino. She smiles brightly at the camera before gingerly setting it down on a nearby table. Now one can get a clear view of the comatose and very, very hung over Lancer. The happy pink Pokemon waves a hand at him as if to say 'and this is our subject today!'.]

[She waddles behind the couch, disappearing for about half a minute before slowly reappearing over the back of said furniture; was she climbing up there for some reason? With no small amount of effort, she pulled herself up to sit on the back of the couch, sighing as she took a moment to rest. It's tough to get around when you're short.]

[Without warning, she drops from the back of the couch directly onto Lancer's spine. Wow, that looked like it hurt, but he didn't make a sound...either he's really out cold or he's dead. Paying no attention to her Trainer's plight, Guinevere the Audino very simply waved at the camera and...]

[...started braiding his hair.]

[Starter appreciation day, huh? Lancer doesn't need a day to appreciate his precious hellhound baby. Broadcasting to you from gods-only-know-where is a Lancer with a shiny Swablu perched upon his head and a stupid smile on his face. The Houndoom circled her sitting Trainer with an eagerly wagging tail, occasionally stopping to sniff at whatever he was doing.]

Alright, Olldóiteán, you ready?

[Grinning like an idiot, Lancer held up a stick upon which was skewered an impressive collection of meat; apparently this was how he did camping. The hellhound at his side practically hopped with excitement, whiptail going fast enough to take someone's head off. Lancer held the stick out a reasonable distance, and...]

Flamethrower.

[ FWOOSH ]

[Holy shit that's a lot of fire.]

--don't know, I think I'm starting to run out of names.

[Knocked over by the wayward wagging tail of a Houndoom. Lancer's Pokegear seemed to start recording him in midsentence. Wearing an almost mournful smile, he regarded what looked like a tiny lump of cotton in his hands. Except...was it chirping?]

I shouldn't name you after Ferdiad, I'm pretty sure you're a girl...Cadás is a stupid name, that'd just be calling you what you look like.

[The bundle of cotton fidgeted as Lancer spoke, unfolding into white wings and fluttering up to her trainer's shoulder before perching on his head.]

[A feather on the hatchling's head unfolded, hanging forward not unlike a certain blonde knight's trademark hairstyle. Lancer smirked at that, laughing somewhat bitterly.]

...How's 'Avalon' sound? That'd be kinda fitting, wouldn't it?

So are we just not gonna talk about how the apparent end of the world got called off at the last minute?

[Beat.]

No? No. Okay, whatever.

[Shrugging his shoulders, Lancer dismissed the thought and moved on to the next subject.]

Y'know, yesterday marked two years I've been here? And it's not really something I ever gave much thought to, but...hell, two years is a long time when you're not constantly fighting. I'm still not sure how you humans deal with a life this boring, but I guess it ain't all that bad. That's two years I shouldn't even have been alive for, so complaining would be pretty stupid even for me.

[He laughed, a rough but not unfriendly sound that sounded almost like barking.]

I guess what I'm kinda drivin' at here is...I've seen a lot of people come and go--people I gave a damn about, and I'd be a liar if I said I don't miss the hell out of them. But I'm pretty grateful I got the chance t' meet anyone here in the first place.

[As if he'd just realized the sentimental nonsense he was saying, Lancer paused somewhat awkwardly.]

...Hell, I must sound like I've finally lost it. Maybe I have. Doesn't matter, I guess. Listen, I ain't really sure where I'll be around the 13th, but if anybody wants to meet me for a drink around then or anytime, really let me know.

[It seemed he wasn't going to elaborate on why the 13th specifically; even if he was, it was right about then a Houndoom came poking her nose in his face demanding attention. Scratching her lightly behind the ears, Lancer stopped the video without another word.]

...Something's wrong- [Through the static, it's very possible to see Lancer holding a shell with a trembling Squirtle withdrawn into it.] -and I don't mean the weather.

Am I the only one feeling the ground shake? And what the hell...did anyone else see any sign of that thing that last girl on the network was talking about?

Somethin's going on. I might not have a damn bit of magic anymore, but you can't get rid of instinct--I'm telling you, this place is gearing up for some serious shit.

Yeah, that's real goddamned funny, kid.

[We open today, friends, with Lancer's halfhearted bitching to himself. Every so often, he looked at Tyrfing the Lucario walking beside him and sighed.]

Leave me with the red-eyed blue dog. Cute.

[Well, whatever. He had more important things to do now, after all.]

[...Not that any of that mattered, as the video abruptly ended with Lancer tackled by what looked like a blue-painted teenager.]

[The results before the video cut out resembled something like this with an unamused Lucario just sitting down to watch.]

[goddammit lancer are you drinking again--of course you are]

Connla's runnin' around Johto again--you happen to see a kid with a thick Scottish accept, point him towards the Celadon breeding center.

Course, I'm in Vermillion waitin' to see Saber finish this thing out, but I should probably be back before he gets there.

[He paused to take another drink of god only knew what.]

....oh yeah, and I really hate Gyarados. I mentioned that lately?

[anon text; locked to Saber]

Meet me outside the Pokemon Center in one hour. I'll make sure your expectations for today don't go to waste.

[action]

[A little while later, Lancer would be sitting on the roof of the Celadon Pokemon Center, mostly out of sight. Lying next to him was a fishing rod, and on the end of the line was a box wrapped in blue and tied with a silver ribbon.]

[All he had to do now was wait for the right person to walk by.]

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Lancer || Cu Chulainn

December 2020

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Lancer || Cu Chulainn

Recent Entries

☘ 046; [video]

☘ 045; [video/ 4th wall]

☘ 044; [video]

☘ 043; [action; nightmare castle 2f]

☘ 042; [video; action for goldenrod breeding center]

☘ 041; [text; dated 10/14]

☘ 040; [video/action]

☘ 039; [video/action for goldenrod/dated 7/27]

☘ 038; [video]

☘ 037; [handwritten/audio]

☘ 036; [video/failed private to saber]

☘ 035; [video/action]

☘ 034; [video/ backdated to 3/18]

☘ 033; [video]

☘ 032; [video]

☘ 031; [video]

☘ 030; [video]

☘ 029; [video]

☘ 028; [video]

☘ 027; [anon text for saber/action]