☘ 050; [dated 9/1 through 9/3]

[solas_ion]

[DAY ONE; video]

[The only reason the video came on at all was due to the fact that Lancer's Pokegear was being shaken; when the image came into focus viewers would be greeted by DEAR ARCEUS WHY right in their face. Upon realizing the device wasn't going to dispense food, the fluffy creature with the million-yard stare dropped it. At a crooked angle, one could see the disaster scene on the streets of Goldenrod; a few more of the gray catlike Pokemon were going through a backpack of supplies, one hanging out of said bag halfway and another chewing on a Pokeball.]

[And a little beyond that was Lancer, trying to drag himself out from under a large pile of confused Espurrs.]

[DAY TWO; action]

[Okay. So yesterday was weird. He'd really just meant to walk to the department store for supplies and to restock the Breeding Center's kitchen, but apparently the weather (such as it was) didn't really permit that. That was fine, he'd seen weirder. That kind of thing couldn't happen two days in a row, right?]

[Closing the front door behind him, Lancer started walking down the street whistling to himself. So he lived somewhere that occasionally rained demonic cats. Whatever. It really wasn't that ba--]

[It was just around that point in Cu Chulainn's train of thought when he was struck in the face by a flying poodle.]

[DAY THREE; video/action]

[It had taken him three days, several bruises, some minor lacerations, and a lot of bandages, but Lancer made it to the Goldenrod department store. Enough was enough, and on his way back home, he decided to figure out just what was going on around here.]

[He turned on the Pokegear himself this time, video focusing on a slightly battered and annoyed Lancer with bandages wrapped around his head. He opened his mouth to say something-]

[--and that's when the Skiddo stampede came through and ran him over.]



...just kill me once and for all.

Comments

[DAY THREE | VIDEO]

[diamondo]

Looks like you have no luck.

[Thank you for that valuable statement, Mondo.]

Are you gonna be alright?

[solas_ion]

I've lived through worse.

[...He's still just gonna lie here for a minute or two, though.]

[diamondo]

That doesn't change the fact that this sucks. You need any help?

[solas_ion]

Assumin' my spine ain't broken, probably not.

[video] day 3

[paladinlost]

[...Oh dear.]

Goldenrod, is it...?

[Of course Goldenrod would get adorable non-falling goat kids, right when he's finally hiding from the falling dogs with Mt. Moon's Zubats. Of course.]

...I recently bought a few bottles of a very high-quality scotch. I'll send you one the moment I return home.

[solas_ion]

Thanks...after the week I'm having, I'm gonna need it.

[paladinlost]

You're welcome. ...Dare I ask what caused the rest of it? Unless you were unlucky enough to get trampled twice.

[Day Two]

[wing_attack]

[So Tobias was just walking to the store to check it out, but then... well. There's a person that just got knocked over by a dog. Really he should just leave them alone, but he heads over anyway.]

You okay?

[He has a Teddiursa tugging at his pant leg - come on come on. Let's get inside!]

[solas_ion]

[It seemed like the Furfrou had latched onto his head to catch itself before hitting the ground, because poor Lancer is not in the best of shape at the moment.]

...why is it always me?

[wing_attack]

[He whistles at the Furfrou, trying to get its attention to draw it away from Lancer.]

Do you need to get to a clinic or something?

[day 3 video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake is sitting on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table. Beneath said table, far in the corner, is crouched an Espurr. His Snubbull is also underneath, trying to lure it out with a cracker. She is having little luck.]

Goat troubles, huh.

[solas_ion]

[NONDESCRIPT GROAN OF AGONY AND DESPAIR]

[by which he means 'yes'.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake waves his hand. Can you feel the depth of his concern over someone else's distress and pain?]

Try feeding them cans. I hear goats like cans.

[Steve snubs the equivalent of here, kitty, kitty. The kitty stares back, unmoving and unblinking.]

[day 3 action]

[aufsassig]

[You know, Lancer, you are having such a shit day that clearly the universe just has to go out of its way to make things worse.

8D

ENJOY THIS RANDOM WILD MURKROW CIRCLING DOWN FROM ON HIGH TO LAND ON YOUR APPARENT CORPSE AND PECK AT IT WITH A WEIRD SORT OF SADISTIC CURIOSITY

SON ARE YOU DEAD YOUR PAIN SMELLS DELICIOUS]

[solas_ion]

[Okay. Okay, he was still alive. So it was just a matter of trying to get up and...]

[...and being faced with the messenger of death after being trampled.]

SHITGETAWAYFROMMEKILLITKILLIT--

[aufsassig]

[RUDE, ASSHOLE. Them's fighting words, anyway, and getting up while it's trying to peck away at your flesh is really an inconvenience in terms of that whole succeeding at flesh-pecking thing.

NOW, DO YOU:

1) FLAIL AROUND LIKE A MORON AND RISK HITTING THIS BIRD

2) RUN AWAY LIKE A SCARED LITTLE GIRL FROM A...what is actually apparently a two-foot high crow, good lord...AND RISK SHAMING THE NAME OF ULSTER FOREVERMORE

3) TAKE A THIRD OPTION (please specify)]

Video - Day 1 - meant to tag this sooner but got distracted by carnival phantasm vids on youtube >_>

[dreamsofahero]

Ah... Are you all right?

this is a Good Excuse

[solas_ion]

[Just kind of...dragging himself over to his Pokegear.]

Does the department store sell cat repellant.

I thought so anyway!

[dreamsofahero]

Ah, not to my knowledge, no.

{text} day one

[bookslap]

I'd say that you should invest in an umbrella, Lancer.

{text}

[solas_ion]

like that's gonna do anything

even if it would i can't exactly go get one nowdfdfjfajhakbv

dfghgfd




they're trying to eat the pokegear

{text}

[bookslap]

They're tiny cats, Lancer. It can't be that hard to stop themfgbhgfdbc

efzjxckb


one just bounced off my head

{video} day three yes I'm a little greedy

[bookslap]

I don't think anything here would be capable of killing you, to be honest.

Are those goats? {#priorities}

{video} welp

[solas_ion]

Never stopped anybody else trying, I can tell you that.

Were they? I didn't exactly get a good look at them before they knocked me over.

{video} I just want all the lancer/nanao cr what can I say

[bookslap]

Are we talking pokemon-on-human violence? Because I thought the Jennies didn't look favourably on that kind of behaviour.

...they sound like goats. {as far as she can tell from the muffled "BAAAAA" coming through the gear's speakers.}