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☘ 050; [dated 9/1 through 9/3]
[DAY ONE; video]
[The only reason the video came on at all was due to the fact that Lancer's Pokegear was being shaken; when the image came into focus viewers would be greeted by DEAR ARCEUS WHY right in their face. Upon realizing the device wasn't going to dispense food, the fluffy creature with the million-yard stare dropped it. At a crooked angle, one could see the disaster scene on the streets of Goldenrod; a few more of the gray catlike Pokemon were going through a backpack of supplies, one hanging out of said bag halfway and another chewing on a Pokeball.]
[And a little beyond that was Lancer, trying to drag himself out from under a large pile of confused Espurrs.]
[DAY TWO; action]
[Okay. So yesterday was weird. He'd really just meant to walk to the department store for supplies and to restock the Breeding Center's kitchen, but apparently the weather (such as it was) didn't really permit that. That was fine, he'd seen weirder. That kind of thing couldn't happen two days in a row, right?]
[Closing the front door behind him, Lancer started walking down the street whistling to himself. So he lived somewhere that occasionally rained demonic cats. Whatever. It really wasn't that ba--]
[It was just around that point in Cu Chulainn's train of thought when he was struck in the face by a flying poodle.]
[DAY THREE; video/action]
[It had taken him three days, several bruises, some minor lacerations, and a lot of bandages, but Lancer made it to the Goldenrod department store. Enough was enough, and on his way back home, he decided to figure out just what was going on around here.]
[He turned on the Pokegear himself this time, video focusing on a slightly battered and annoyed Lancer with bandages wrapped around his head. He opened his mouth to say something-]
[--and that's when the Skiddo stampede came through and ran him over.]
...just kill me once and for all.
[The only reason the video came on at all was due to the fact that Lancer's Pokegear was being shaken; when the image came into focus viewers would be greeted by DEAR ARCEUS WHY right in their face. Upon realizing the device wasn't going to dispense food, the fluffy creature with the million-yard stare dropped it. At a crooked angle, one could see the disaster scene on the streets of Goldenrod; a few more of the gray catlike Pokemon were going through a backpack of supplies, one hanging out of said bag halfway and another chewing on a Pokeball.]
[And a little beyond that was Lancer, trying to drag himself out from under a large pile of confused Espurrs.]
[DAY TWO; action]
[Okay. So yesterday was weird. He'd really just meant to walk to the department store for supplies and to restock the Breeding Center's kitchen, but apparently the weather (such as it was) didn't really permit that. That was fine, he'd seen weirder. That kind of thing couldn't happen two days in a row, right?]
[Closing the front door behind him, Lancer started walking down the street whistling to himself. So he lived somewhere that occasionally rained demonic cats. Whatever. It really wasn't that ba--]
[It was just around that point in Cu Chulainn's train of thought when he was struck in the face by a flying poodle.]
[DAY THREE; video/action]
[It had taken him three days, several bruises, some minor lacerations, and a lot of bandages, but Lancer made it to the Goldenrod department store. Enough was enough, and on his way back home, he decided to figure out just what was going on around here.]
[He turned on the Pokegear himself this time, video focusing on a slightly battered and annoyed Lancer with bandages wrapped around his head. He opened his mouth to say something-]
[--and that's when the Skiddo stampede came through and ran him over.]
...just kill me once and for all.
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The day before that I'm pretty sure I got outright robbed by a downpour of what I think were probably cats.
The hell is going on around here now?
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[That's his theory and he's sticking to it.]
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[Logic.]
C'mon, we've seen worse shit than this happen. ...But this is pretty high up there on a scale of being outright strange.
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[Hidden somewhere within Mt. Moon and all.]
We've seen worse, yes. But those moments still fit this world's tenuous logic. Barring shark hurricanes, how often have you seen Pokémon rain down from the skies?
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[Lancer, please consider actually getting up sometime today.]
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[A beat.]
...I suppose we should be thankful the Goomies did not arrive like this.
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[Shudder.]
I'd have felt terrible for the poor bastard that woulda been stuck cleaning that up.
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