[RUDE, ASSHOLE. Them's fighting words, anyway, and getting up while it's trying to peck away at your flesh is really an inconvenience in terms of that whole succeeding at flesh-pecking thing.
NOW, DO YOU:
1) FLAIL AROUND LIKE A MORON AND RISK HITTING THIS BIRD
2) RUN AWAY LIKE A SCARED LITTLE GIRL FROM A...what is actually apparently a two-foot high crow, good lord...AND RISK SHAMING THE NAME OF ULSTER FOREVERMORE
no subject
NOW, DO YOU:
2) RUN AWAY LIKE A SCARED LITTLE GIRL FROM A...what is actually apparently a two-foot high crow, good lord...AND RISK SHAMING THE NAME OF ULSTER FOREVERMORE
3) TAKE A THIRD OPTION (please specify)]