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☘ 050; [dated 9/1 through 9/3]
[DAY ONE; video]
[The only reason the video came on at all was due to the fact that Lancer's Pokegear was being shaken; when the image came into focus viewers would be greeted by DEAR ARCEUS WHY right in their face. Upon realizing the device wasn't going to dispense food, the fluffy creature with the million-yard stare dropped it. At a crooked angle, one could see the disaster scene on the streets of Goldenrod; a few more of the gray catlike Pokemon were going through a backpack of supplies, one hanging out of said bag halfway and another chewing on a Pokeball.]
[And a little beyond that was Lancer, trying to drag himself out from under a large pile of confused Espurrs.]
[DAY TWO; action]
[Okay. So yesterday was weird. He'd really just meant to walk to the department store for supplies and to restock the Breeding Center's kitchen, but apparently the weather (such as it was) didn't really permit that. That was fine, he'd seen weirder. That kind of thing couldn't happen two days in a row, right?]
[Closing the front door behind him, Lancer started walking down the street whistling to himself. So he lived somewhere that occasionally rained demonic cats. Whatever. It really wasn't that ba--]
[It was just around that point in Cu Chulainn's train of thought when he was struck in the face by a flying poodle.]
[DAY THREE; video/action]
[It had taken him three days, several bruises, some minor lacerations, and a lot of bandages, but Lancer made it to the Goldenrod department store. Enough was enough, and on his way back home, he decided to figure out just what was going on around here.]
[He turned on the Pokegear himself this time, video focusing on a slightly battered and annoyed Lancer with bandages wrapped around his head. He opened his mouth to say something-]
[--and that's when the Skiddo stampede came through and ran him over.]
...just kill me once and for all.
[The only reason the video came on at all was due to the fact that Lancer's Pokegear was being shaken; when the image came into focus viewers would be greeted by DEAR ARCEUS WHY right in their face. Upon realizing the device wasn't going to dispense food, the fluffy creature with the million-yard stare dropped it. At a crooked angle, one could see the disaster scene on the streets of Goldenrod; a few more of the gray catlike Pokemon were going through a backpack of supplies, one hanging out of said bag halfway and another chewing on a Pokeball.]
[And a little beyond that was Lancer, trying to drag himself out from under a large pile of confused Espurrs.]
[DAY TWO; action]
[Okay. So yesterday was weird. He'd really just meant to walk to the department store for supplies and to restock the Breeding Center's kitchen, but apparently the weather (such as it was) didn't really permit that. That was fine, he'd seen weirder. That kind of thing couldn't happen two days in a row, right?]
[Closing the front door behind him, Lancer started walking down the street whistling to himself. So he lived somewhere that occasionally rained demonic cats. Whatever. It really wasn't that ba--]
[It was just around that point in Cu Chulainn's train of thought when he was struck in the face by a flying poodle.]
[DAY THREE; video/action]
[It had taken him three days, several bruises, some minor lacerations, and a lot of bandages, but Lancer made it to the Goldenrod department store. Enough was enough, and on his way back home, he decided to figure out just what was going on around here.]
[He turned on the Pokegear himself this time, video focusing on a slightly battered and annoyed Lancer with bandages wrapped around his head. He opened his mouth to say something-]
[--and that's when the Skiddo stampede came through and ran him over.]
...just kill me once and for all.
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[But you know what, far be it from him to turn down a game of chicken, so with a toss of his wrist the ball arcs through the air and IF LANCER'S GONNA STOP IT HE BETTER ACT QUICK
because otherwise that Murkrow is coming back out with extreme prejudice.]
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[In about the time it'd take for Horrible Demon Bird to come out of its ball, Lancer had thrown one of his own and called out a Large Angry Hellhound of a Houndoom.]
[Come the fuck at me, bro.]
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...Really.
[Meanwhile, the aforementioned Horrible Demon Bird is yet again free from its ball, blinking in mild surprise as it returns to the sunlight, and —
...
ZERO TO RAGEFURY IN .002 SECONDS, BASICALLY
Like seriously it didn't even take a command from the ginger over here or anything, IT'S JUST ATTACKING LIKE A BANSHEE.]
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[For what it was worth, Olldóiteán did send a blast of fire at it...unfortunately, demon birds were a little too quick and the result was an ash-covered Lancer coughing smoke clouds.]
[Ah, comedy.]
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Schuldig apparently doesn't seem to mind.]
Well, I'm not putting it away now, you've got that big-ass dog out.
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[...yes, he really did just offer the invitation for this guy to KO his own Pokemon, welcome to Pokemon Training with Schuldig.]
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[Apparently 'going easy' for the hellhound meant 'an Ember right in the beak'.]
[well...at least it's not dead. (Probably.)]
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So much the better, in Schuldig's opinion; at least now the little fucker is unconscious, if he decides to release it or something.]
Nice shot, Oldie-chawn.
[GERMAN MAN SPEAKS GAELIC; RESULTS HILARIOUS.]
What did you do to piss the thing off, anyway?
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How should I know? It probably thought I was dead or something.
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[.........]
I think they actually have those, you know, and they're not this damn thing.