solas_ion | ☘ 021; [video]

Hey, Johto. Kanto. Wherever the hell we are, I dunno at this point.

[Oh sweet jesus he's drunk again.]

I don't--don't get it. How come she can just...just...well look at her!

['Her' being Saber. Who is simply sitting in front of several empty glasses with her usual completely calm look on her face.]

You are being ridiculous, Lancer. Is your country not famed for being able to hold their own in a contest of drinking? How shameful for them to be represented by such a spectacle.

Hey. Hey. Don' talk shit about Ireland. I'll fight all three a' you an' win.

There is only one of me.

Now that ain't true and y'know it. What about...uh...whassername. The other one in the red with the really nice rack.

Lancer, you are making a fool out of yourself.

No, really, have you seen her? Could prolly balance a damned bottle on those things.

And you believe that I could not?!

Whatever, whatever, I was sayin' something wasn't I? Oh yeah. Hey Johto or wherever th' hell we are. How come...how come she's like...half my size an' not even drunk yet. Does...does she store it all in that one little bit a' hair stickin' out of her head? Seriously, I think it's alive. It keeps movin' like it's alive or somethin'. If it is I bet it's just there t' make her look taller. Needs all the help she can get.

Cease with this slander--!

[That blue blur is a Saber diving to tackle Lancer and get the Pokegear away from him, and Lancer holding it out of her reach with his free hand on her head to hold her back.]

[Just another day in Goldenrod, folks.]

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...Uh.

[Suddenly, Shirou is reminded of his first date with Rin.]

Are you sure the alcohol hasn't affected you at all?

Fairly sure.

[ She'll give him a sheepish grin just for good measure. ]

Shirou, Shirou. You know what would be fun to do? Ride around on my dragonspawn's back.

...Uh. What brought that on?

I just thought it would be a lot of fun. You could hold onto my waist as I guide him around!

...Well...I guess I could do that with you.

[He's pretty sure by this point that she is tipsy, but he's not saying that out loud.]

Let us ride this very eve, Shirou!

No. Not until you've had the chance to sleep this off.

Scared?

[ She just went there. ]

...What?

[Saber, that's enough booze for you.]

Come now, you know no man could ride better than I. Will you not join me?

Not until you don't have a drop of alcohol in your blood.

Then I shall ride without you.

[ Turning to ignore the camera. ]

Hear ye, hear ye! Is there any man brave enough to fare the skies with me and my dragonspawn?

No! You don't go up, either! Not tonight!

And who shall stop me, I wonder.

I bet the police would stop you for flying under the influence!

A king needs not follow the laws of the officials, Shirou! I shall have their heads for stopping me. I will fix them upon pikes to scare off wild Pokemon!

...Saber. You are sounding like Gilgamesh.

[What he wouldn't give for a Command Spell right about now...]

You take that back right now, Shirou Emiya, or else I will tell you tales of your father. [ Because that's totally a legitimate threat. ] Well? I do not hear you taking your ridiculous statement back. Need I remind you that it is rude to compare a king to another king?

[Wow what.]

You never even said that in the first place! And besides, it's the truth!

[ Saber's going to turn to the wall. ]

Kind sir, will you inform my friend that I wish to no longer speak with him?

...Saber. You're talking to a wall.

Mind your manners, Shirou. He does not enjoy conversation easily, but that does not make him a wall.

...No. I mean you are literally talking to a wall.

Am I? [ She's going to reach out with a free hand and feel around. ] Hm. So I am.

[ A beat. ]

Shirou, did the wall actually speak to you upon my request? Are you hearing things?

What?

...No. No one besides you spoke. You're just imagining things. I think you need to go home and sleep.

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