solas_ion | ☘ 021; [video]

Hey, Johto. Kanto. Wherever the hell we are, I dunno at this point.

[Oh sweet jesus he's drunk again.]

I don't--don't get it. How come she can just...just...well look at her!

['Her' being Saber. Who is simply sitting in front of several empty glasses with her usual completely calm look on her face.]

You are being ridiculous, Lancer. Is your country not famed for being able to hold their own in a contest of drinking? How shameful for them to be represented by such a spectacle.

Hey. Hey. Don' talk shit about Ireland. I'll fight all three a' you an' win.

There is only one of me.

Now that ain't true and y'know it. What about...uh...whassername. The other one in the red with the really nice rack.

Lancer, you are making a fool out of yourself.

No, really, have you seen her? Could prolly balance a damned bottle on those things.

And you believe that I could not?!

Whatever, whatever, I was sayin' something wasn't I? Oh yeah. Hey Johto or wherever th' hell we are. How come...how come she's like...half my size an' not even drunk yet. Does...does she store it all in that one little bit a' hair stickin' out of her head? Seriously, I think it's alive. It keeps movin' like it's alive or somethin'. If it is I bet it's just there t' make her look taller. Needs all the help she can get.

Cease with this slander--!

[That blue blur is a Saber diving to tackle Lancer and get the Pokegear away from him, and Lancer holding it out of her reach with his free hand on her head to hold her back.]

[Just another day in Goldenrod, folks.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Saber. You are sounding like Gilgamesh.

[What he wouldn't give for a Command Spell right about now...]

You take that back right now, Shirou Emiya, or else I will tell you tales of your father. [ Because that's totally a legitimate threat. ] Well? I do not hear you taking your ridiculous statement back. Need I remind you that it is rude to compare a king to another king?

[Wow what.]

You never even said that in the first place! And besides, it's the truth!

[ Saber's going to turn to the wall. ]

Kind sir, will you inform my friend that I wish to no longer speak with him?

...Saber. You're talking to a wall.

Mind your manners, Shirou. He does not enjoy conversation easily, but that does not make him a wall.

...No. I mean you are literally talking to a wall.

Am I? [ She's going to reach out with a free hand and feel around. ] Hm. So I am.

[ A beat. ]

Shirou, did the wall actually speak to you upon my request? Are you hearing things?

What?

...No. No one besides you spoke. You're just imagining things. I think you need to go home and sleep.

Nonsense, I am fine. I shall remain until Lancer admits defeat.

...You. Were just. Speaking. To a wall.

At least the wall was not insisting I go home.

If walls could talk, I'm sure it would have. If you don't go home on your own, I'll come down there and take you home myself.

[ And then Saber says the words no guardian likes to hear: ]

You cannot make me.

[Well, Shirou has an edge that most guardians don't have -- six powerful fighting machines.]

Are you forgetting that I have a team of Pokémon?

I shall challenge each and every single one of them with my bare hands!

People don't fight Pokémon. Besides, I can just have one of them pick you up and carry you home.

Not if I knock it out!

You won't be able to.

I will. I will knock it out and you will cry that I bested your Pokemon.

And how do you plan to knock out a steel bird?

[One that's named after Saber's famous sword, no less.]

With my fists.

You'll only hurt yourself.

Will not!

See, now you're acting like a child. You need to go to bed.

[Video]

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