☘ 058; [video]

[solas_ion]

I don't get it, why's everything gotta have a name for it?

[The slightly crooked video comes from a Pokegear carelessly dropped on what seems to be a bar. Lancer, in all his blinding Hawaiian shirted glory, was the one having spoken.]

Like this one here, what the hell's a 'Kirlia Royale'? Or a 'Seafoam Island Iced Tea'? '

You know there's no tea in a Seafoam Island Iced Tea, don't you? It's only called that because of its resemblance to nonalcoholic iced tea — you'd probably like it, if you can get past the name. Which isn't as bad as you're making it out to be, by the way.

I didn't say it was bad, I was about to say it's just stupid. You don't need dumb names for everything. [IN MY DAY WE DRANK UPHILL BOTH WAYS] Here, hang on a second-- [There was a sudden motion as the Pokegear was jostled in a quick flash of a brightly-colored shirt. Having apparently jumped the bar and waving off the poor bartender with a muttered 'it's fine, ain't like I'm not paying for it', he quickly set himself to mixing some unholy concoction in a glass, which he set in front of Carmen.]

[...Who wisely seemed just a little skeptical as to whether or not she should drink it.]

...Ah, it's a "tip and an apology" kind of night, I see.

[THAT'S CORRECT, CARMEN. Because Lancer is on a mission.] It's fine, ain't like we can't afford it. Look--I invented my own drink.

[That earned him a raised eyebrow, and rightfully so.]

And I get the honor of first taste? Color me flattered. All right, maestro, what do you call this masterpiece of yours?

Who cares what it's called, try it. [Dismissively, he proceeded to make a second one for himself.]

Oh, no, if I'm drinking it, then you're naming it — an equivalent exchange. Now, what do you call it?

Okay, fine. I call it, 'it's got booze in it, so drink it'.

[With that bit of infallible ye olde Irish logic, the video cut out.]

[joint post with doitrockapella!]

Comments

[video]

[paladinlost]

...Well, I suppose that's still a better name than the Arbok Poisonspit. Are you both still alive?

[That is a most important question.]

[video]

[solas_ion]

C'mon, it takes a hell of a lot more than that to get rid of us.

[lancer you are a public menace.]

[video]

[paladinlost]

And here I was, thinking you'd put some effort into that drink. Does this mean it was less dangerous than it looked?

[audio;]

[doitrockapella]

Please tell me you just made up "the Arbok Poisonspit" on the spot, and that's not a real drink.

[video forever]

[paladinlost]

The bartender in Violet assured me that the numbness of my tongue was a known effect, and that it would fade away after three hours. He was off by one.

[Why yes, he put something called the Arbok Poisonspit in his mouth. Willingly.]

[video]

[gemofthedeep]

... Why are you making such a big deal over drinking something?

[LAPIS NO DON'T SHOW THE IRISHMAN YOU'RE IGNORANT ABOUT ALCOHOL....]

[video]

[solas_ion]

...huh? What kinda question is that?

[oh NO]

[gemofthedeep]

... A valid one? I get that humans can be picky, but it's just a drink. They're all the same.

[Except milk. Milk is a foul disgusting drink and Lapis ain't going near it ever again because what the fuck humans leave the fluids of other animals out of this.]

[audio;]

[doitrockapella]

Chalk it up to "it's in his nature", and you're at least halfway there.

[gemofthedeep]

I just don't get it. Getting all worked up about a drink just seems.... weird.

[audio]

[stonebones]

[The person giggling sounds entirely too young to be listening to bar banter, but that's what you get when you make a public video. And also have the kind of good-natured bickering he'd grown accustomed to hearing while traveling with his friends.]

You can think of a better name than that... It'd be hard to say, "yes, hello, I'll have a 'it's got booze in it, so drink it', please!"

[audio]

[solas_ion]

Yeah, but that's all you need to know about it.

'I want one of something with booze in it, and then I'll take seven more.' How about that?

[audio]

[stonebones]

I don't know... I'd still feel bad for the bartender! Then they have to make all the decisions not knowing what you like. Or what if they're having a bad day and give you something that costs a lot of money?

[audio]

[doitrockapella]

Spoken like a true scholar and a gentleman.

[audio]

[stonebones]

[He laughs again at that before continuing with his upbeat tone:]

Plus, if the inventor doesn't really care what it is, why should anyone else? It doesn't matter that some people aren't picky if you don't bother to give them a real option.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[This merits presidential attention.]

What I never got is how come some things get a name and some don't. Like, say, how come when you put some Jack Granbulls in with some vermouth, it's a Manhattan, but when you put Jack in with Coke, it's just a Jack and Coke.

[video]

[doitrockapella]

That one's because of advertising. Brand name appeal, something like that.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

You got a point. Coca fuckin' Cola would chase you across a goddamn parallel universe if it thought it wasn't getting its due.

Huh. That's one idea to find a way home. Fuck with Coke and wait for the lawyers to find you.

[video]

[solas_ion]

...you know, for once I actually agree with you, that's stupid.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

You know I have a point.

What did you make, anyway?

Video

[dreamsofahero]

I believe the point of names is so that if you like a particular drink, you can more easily ask for more of the same.

*without, y'know, needing to describe its precise contents*

Video

[solas_ion]

When'd humans decide to make drinking so damn complicated?

Re: Video

[dreamsofahero]

Probably when they realized that not only was it possible to get drunk, but to choose what kind of flavor you became drunk on, I imagine...

audio;

[doitrockapella]

Not to mention it makes the experience far more charming.

perma-vid on Sion's end

[dreamsofahero]

Well, depending somewhat on the names, I suppose.