solas_ion | ☘ 040; [video/action]

☘ 040; [video/action]

Okay. [Lancer's actually voluntarily filming himself today, standing next to an Aerodactyl.] Cecil, this whole flying thing better be all it's cracked up to be. That's the right saying, isn't it? Whatever. I finally have a use for that stupid technique I got ages ago.

[He looked to the grumpy dinosaur next to him, none too excited about the prospect but willing to try regardless.] Alright, let me just get on your back or something and let's take o- [The Aerodactyl flapped its wings, suddenly grabbing Lancer by the arms and launching itself into the air with its now screaming trainer.]

I'M GOING TO EAT YOU OR SOMETHING I SWEAR TO MACHA PUT ME DOWN--

[Hello from a million feet in the air, Goldenrod.]

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[Far, far below, Xemnas tilts his head back, shielding his eyes with one hand, to watch what looks suspiciously like an aerodactyl tow what seems to be a humanlike shape through the air. At that distance, the screaming is faint and tinny.

Someone is not having a good day, and for once it isn't him. After a moment, he puts down his pack and goes rummaging through it, acquiring a pair of binoculars and using those to watch instead. Goodness, that looks uncomfortable.]

HEY, I CAN SEE YOU DOWN THERE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT?!

[wow lancer that is some killer eyesight]

[...and some very unkind hand gestures...]

[And Xemnas, without any pokemon of his own that know Fly, and thus no way of assisting even remotely even if he wanted to, gives a very faint smile that might be hard to see from way up there.

It's probably easier to see the cheerful wave that all Lancer's yelling and rude gestures gained in return. Hello! It might be unexpected entertainment, but it really is entertaining. For him.]

...It's more pleasant when you are sitting properly and ready for it, I assure you. Perhaps you should ask her to try again?

[Must not laugh must not laugh must not laugh must not laugh-]

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

[you are so on this screaming fellow's shit list, mister tiny dot on the ground.]

If you'd asked about it first, I would have added a 'Do Not Try With An Aerodactyl' clause, you know.

[Not laughing not laughing not laughing not laughing-]

HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! THE FUCKIN' THING HAS WINGS, DOESN'T IT? EXCUSE THE HELL OUTTA ME FOR EXPECTING TO BE ABLE TO FLY PROPERLY!

Oh, it can most certainly fly properly. The question is whether or not it wants to, which is far from a certainty with Aerodactyls in the first place.

[Still not laughing! ...His Psychic-types watching the whole thing from behind him, however...]

[The tiny dot on the ground apparently finds this interesting enough to un-pokeball several of his pokemon and then point at the tiny dot in the sky.

Whereupon the binoculars are all handed 'round. Lancer has become an Object Lesson on why Flying can be dangerous!]

[there is an intelligent response to be made

but first there is only snickering]

THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!

REALLY? NAAAAH! I NEVER WOULDA NOTICED!

...Noticing earlier would have been safer. Do you not have a bird or a dragon you could use instead?

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I HAVE WITH WINGS?

A VENOMOTH.

AS PARACHUTES GO? KIND OF WISH I HAD A BETTER ONE!

[lancer for god's sake, breathe]

That won't work. As far as I can tell, the only Bug-type that can learn Fly is Volcarona, and that one is not even a Flying-type. It's more than a little unfair, if you ask me.

[Can butterflies giggle? Because Cecil's Butterfree might or might not have join the laughing Psychic army.]

Great. I'm going to die.

[Beat. Because the clouds above Goldenrod are a great place to contemplate game mechanics.]

...Hang on. This place expects me to believe the giant moth can't learn Fly, but the little goddamn Pidgey that're all over this place can?

[lancer. let me tell you about dodrio.]

[Of course they are. Why ponder game mechanics if they're not affecting you in a way that's too late to fix?]

I'm quite certain there is a reason for that. I'm equally certain that reason is 'because'.

That's the dumbest goddamn thing I've ever heard.

[at least it's taken his mind off imminent death]

I've seen Ground-types that can Surf. You cannot tell me that this world does not think it has a sense of humor.

[Success! ...Except for the part where death is still imminent.]

...Y'know, in the past three years or so it never actually occurred to me how stupid this place is.

[lancer might be forgetting that. somehow.]

...Not even once, at some point between the unnatural weather and the sentient toxic sludge?

[At least he'll die distracted instead of panicking?]

[what do you think c: ]

Surely - [hold on still laughing] - surely there's a more, uh, graceful way to go about that-!

SURELY FUCK OFF, I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW!

[i'm so sorry for him]

When you point me to tiny birds that can carry people and giant moths that can't, we got a problem here.

Alright! [hee.

He's not malicious enough to keep bothering someone who, uh, looks like they could use their full attention on the issue at hand. Once he's not in immediate danger, maybe. In the meantime he'll just...appreciate the really impressive profanity he just heard. Nice.]

If we could find the HMs' makers, perhaps they'd listen and change that. If they can.

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