solas_ion | ☘ 061; [video/action for saffron; aromatherapy]

[Fumbled with for just a moment, the network was greeted with the mildly distressed growl of a Lucario.. This poor unfortunate creature's name was Tyrfing, and he was in a dire situation. In the background was your average Pokemon Center, with an idiot in a Hawaiian shirt leaning over the counter and smirking at Nurse Joy Sister #241.]

...I'm sorry, what? [Undeterred by the poor woman who was clearly embarrassed on his behalf, Lancer ran a hand through his hair and answered without missing a beat.]

I said, 'do you have any Awakening, because I think I just met the girl of my dreams.'

[This is happening, folks.]

No good? How about 'I think I need a Paralyze Heal, because you are stunning.'

[Meanwhile, if a Lucario could physically make this face, that would be the look Tyrfing currently had.]

Er-

When I’m with you, all my cares are Pory-gone. I could Raichu a love song but I'd rather take you on a Magikarp-et ride. Do you know Tail Whip, because you leave me defenseless. You-

[Some people spilled deep secrets when their brain-to-mouth filter broke. Some people were not Cu Chulainn. Finally having enough, Tyrfing gave the camera the most unimpressed look known to Pokemon or mankind, the video moving as he stalked over and dragged his now complaining Trainer out of the building by the back of his shirt.]

[Which was just as well, because the abrupt camera angle change revealed a Chansey directly behind Nurse Joy, with the kind of dead-eyed smile one wore when plotting bloody murder. Is that an Egg Bomb in your pocket or are you just happy to be rid of him?]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Tyrfing, I'm assuming you're going to be the one reading this, given the current state of your trainer's...well. Everything.

Still, put him on, will you please?

Hey, those are pretty good!

Mind if I use one of'em sometime?

[There is the sound of an affirmative growl, followed by a dull noise of the Pokegear impacting someone's head.]

Ow, goddammit-

[You had that one coming.]

What, what'd I do this time?

Sure, go ahead.

[In the background: a Lucario, facepalming.]

Up to no good today, are we, Lancer?

I'm not up to anything.

Really? Because I think the nurses have their hands full with people's Pokemon as it is, without you trying to...Smoochum.

[CARMEN NOOOOOOO]

Between you and Tyrfing, I'd swear you were trying to Jynx me.

[HAVE YOU EVEN MET HER, LIKE SHE COULD RESIST THIS.]

I'd be more concerned about that aide of hers. Flirting with someone who has a bodyguard present seems a little Chansey, wouldn't you agree?

You know me. Giving me a challenge is just egging me on.

Take care that you don't bomb, Lancer.

I'm not gonna get scrambled that easily.

...I cannot believe you thought for even a second that these lines would be successful.

[Is Aromatherapy making Cecil brutally honest, or are the pick-up lines that bad?

...The pick-up lines are that bad.]

I'm charming. The pick-up lines were just to get her attention.

[They're horrendous and Lancer should feel terrible.]

Not even all the charm in the world can offset the use of fish in your flirtation. Should you not be aiming for positive attention?

You do have a knack for putting your sunny side up.

The trick's all in the Exeggcute-ion.

So...what, leave the Magikarp one out next time?

Your Exeggcute-ion is fine, but I'm still Exegg-cuter.

...That would be an acceptable first step on the road to never using any such lines again, yes.

Well, I know what I'm studying until Valentine's Day.

[Blake crosses his arms as some feedback floats through his head, though he'd never say it out loud-]

If you had a better haircut, you might be cute enough to pull that off.

[-huh?]

Try to keep up, kid.

[oh my god lancer please stop.]

Oh yeah? I was thinking you had to be a Clefairy with all that Cute Charm.

Oh come on, some of those were good!

I don't usually go for guys like you.

[...lancer, please stop.]

There's no 'but' and a compliment there, I just don't.

Nurse Joy disagreed. So did her Chansey, for that matter. How can they be good, if your target audience dislikes them?

[Blake tilts his head toward the background on the screen, where stands the Pokemon Center Lancer just got his ass dragged out from.]

You can't be real picky when you strike out that bad.

(Just...laughing. Hard. This is amazing. Thank you, Lancer.)

Be careful. If that nurse hears you flirting she might get Jellicent.

Thanks!

Sorry you're striking out, but I've never gotten one of them to go out with me neither.

Hey! I'll have you know I was pretty good at this. Having seven hundred-odd new critters to add to the mix'll hardly be a challenge, once I get going.

Wait, we talkin' about the wordplay or pickin' up girls?

I was talking about the Pokémon pick-up lines, yeah. Believe me, I don't need any further schooling in the latter.

Wh--hey, what's so damn funny!

[Everything, you walking embarrassment.]

I'll be as picky as I damn well like. You ain't my type, so don't be too broken up about it.

Yeah? You should remember there's always somebody with more experience than you.

It was clever, maybe they just don't like wordplay!

Eh, it'll work one of these days.

[NO IT WON'T.]

Hey, my luck's bound to take a Lanturn one of these days.

That may be, man, that may be. But I'm not so competitive I mind taking second place so long as I'm already where I want to be.

[I.e. living in dad joke sin, apparently.]

Not bad, not bad. I can respect an outlook like that. Leaves more room for the competitive ones like me.

Outta curiosity, you play more for quantity or quality?

Little bit of both. I've got standards.

[Those standards are 'breathing', 'marginally interested', and 'reasonably attractive'.]

Just wondering. I found way more challenge in the latter. Kept me on my toes.

...Perhaps it would be best to learn such tastes before starting on the puns, next time. What if you've permanently ruined your chances?

Hey, if you keep at it, you're bound to get a 'yes' sometime!

A lot and you have no idea, poor dope.

Do you usually hit on women like that?

☘ 061; [video/action for saffron; aromatherapy]

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