solas_ion: (no cure for the son of deichtire)
[This video is short and to the point, Lancer standing in front of a bed pretty much covered in eggs.]

...Saber. Where did all of these come from and what are we going to do with them?

[ooc: Egg claiming post if you signed up for Deerling/Ponyta here! Expect Saber to threadjack, she's the responsible one here. Lancer doesn't know what the hell.]
solas_ion: (did not hold in honour or dignity)
Hey, Johto. Kanto. Wherever the hell we are, I dunno at this point.

[Oh sweet jesus he's drunk again.]

I don't--don't get it. How come she can just...just...well look at her!

['Her' being Saber. Who is simply sitting in front of several empty glasses with her usual completely calm look on her face.]

You are being ridiculous, Lancer. Is your country not famed for being able to hold their own in a contest of drinking? How shameful for them to be represented by such a spectacle.

Hey. Hey. Don' talk shit about Ireland. I'll fight all three a' you an' win.

There is only one of me.

Now that ain't true and y'know it. What about...uh...whassername. The other one in the red with the really nice rack.

Lancer, you are making a fool out of yourself.

No, really, have you seen her? Could prolly balance a damned bottle on those things.

And you believe that I could not?!

Whatever, whatever, I was sayin' something wasn't I? Oh yeah. Hey Johto or wherever th' hell we are. How come she's like...half my size an' not even drunk yet. Does...does she store it all in that one little bit a' hair stickin' out of her head? Seriously, I think it's alive. It keeps movin' like it's alive or somethin'. If it is I bet it's just there t' make her look taller. Needs all the help she can get.

Cease with this slander--!

[That blue blur is a Saber diving to tackle Lancer and get the Pokegear away from him, and Lancer holding it out of her reach with his free hand on her head to hold her back.]

[Just another day in Goldenrod, folks.]
solas_ion: (no cure for the son of deichtire)
[early morning; Goldenrod Pokemon Center]

Guys, I got this weird feeling. Kind of like I can sense something behind me, but every time I look there's nothing there. Needless to say, something doesn't feel quite right here.

[If one was to look very carefully, they might see a Smoochum hiding behind the PC in the background.]

[mid-morning; Goldenrod Department Store]

[Lancer turns on the video again, seeming even more suspicious than before.]

Look, if someone wants a fight with me, they can come out and say so. Whoever's following me around, knock that shit off.

[And in the background, half-hidden behind a shelf? An incognito Smoochum in too-large sunglasses and a fedora.]

[afternoon; breeding center]

Okay, seriously! I'm tired of this, whoever the hell's stalking me you've been at it for hours! I swear if it's Whitney again I'm getting the hell out of this city.

[Does anyone else see the Smoochum slooooowly advancing on him like ninja cat? Lancer doesn't, because at that particular moment the egg he's been carrying with him decides to start shaking and cracking.]

[His attention diverted, the stalking Smoochum sees her opportunity. Closer and closer and closer...]

[Only to be intercepted by an Audino dropping down from yonder tree and engaging in an ineffective slapfight with Lancer's mysterious stalker. Meanwhile the clueless trainer himself has gone from holding an egg to holding the cutest damned thing ever.]

I swear this place gets weirder the longer I'm here.


solas_ion: (Default)
Lancer || Cu Chulainn




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